Duo's Birthday Party
by Elphaba Tiggular
Summary: This is my FRIST story that I am posting! And y'know what? It's still incomplete! Gomen ne! 5 year-old Duo is living with Sister Helen and Father Maxwell and it's his B-day! So his friends (the Gundam Pilots) come and some unexpected things happen


This story is rated: PG-13 for cussing and violence!   
Disclaimer: I don not own Gundam Wing or the characters used.  
Gundam Wing:  
Duo's Birthday Party!  
(The scene is a church)  
Duo: When are they gonna be here?  
Minister Maxwell (Ok let's just call him Mr. Maxwell): Soon.  
Duo: It's my Birthday!  
Sister Helen: We know Duo.  
Duo: Where are my friends?  
:::The doorbell rings:::  
Duo: I'll get it! :::Opens the door to see Quatre:::  
Quatre: Happy Birthday, Duo! :::He hands Duo a small gift wrapped neatly with a nice bow:::  
Duo: Thanks! Do you know where the others are?  
Quatre: They're coming. :::He points to Wufei walking with his mom and dad they are 5 feet from each other:::  
Wufei: :::Hits the door with his fists:::   
Duo: Uh…the door's open.  
Quatre: :::Gasps::: You said his name!  
Wufei: My mommy slipped me another sleeping pill so be prepared I'm gonna be a real pain! :::He is holding a small present in one hand and his tightly wrapped sleeping bag in the other:::  
Duo: Where's Trowa and Heero?  
Sister Helen: Be patient.  
Duo: Ok. :::Sees Trowa all by himself:::  
Trowa: My mom and dad went to language lessons again.  
:::Mr. Maxwell reads the boys the message:::  
Trowa: Well, anyway…Happy Birthday, Duo.  
Sister Helen: My, isn't he charming.  
Duo: Am I charm-ing?  
Sister Helen: Yes, you are Duo.  
Quatre: Look there's Heero…and some girl is following him…  
Heero: Go away, Relena.  
Relena: No, Heero I'm scared!  
Duo: HEERO WHO IS THAT GIRL?  
Relena: My name is Relena Dorlin!  
Trowa: Nice to meet you. I'm Trowa!  
Quatre: N-ice…to…me-et…y-you. I'm…T-Trow-a!  
Trowa: :::Nods:::  
Quatre: YAY! I'm getting good at this!  
Heero: Duo, my mother ordered me to have "Fun." So here is your gift. :::He hands Duo a box that is kind of heavy compared to the other gifts:::  
Relena: Heero, I'm still scared!  
Duo: Uhh…Heero?  
Heero: What is it?  
Duo: When will she leave?  
Heero: Don't ask me…  
Sister Helen: Oh come on boys, be nice to her.  
Duo: Do we have to?  
Mr. Maxwell: Yes, you do.  
Duo: Why?  
Mr. Maxwell: Because…she's a guest.  
Duo: But she wasn't even invited to my party!  
Quatre: Duo don't fight with your dad.  
Duo: He's not really my dad.  
Quatre: Who is he then?  
Duo: Uhh…umm…  
Mr. Maxwell: Well is everybody here? :::Looks at everyone::: Ok, let's go.  
Trowa: What are we doing now?  
Relena: What does that say, Heero?  
Heero: Shut the hell up!  
Relena: Is that what it really says?  
Heero: Yes, now leave me alone!  
Sister Helen: :::Gasps:::  
Mr. Maxwell: Duo's friend, please do not swear!  
Heero: :::Goes to say something but shuts his mouth:::  
Duo: :::Smiles and giggles:::  
Mr. Maxwell: Duo…don't make me angry!  
Quatre: Um, Mr. Maxwell can we eat now?  
Sister Helen: My, is he cute! We are going to the park to eat lunch.  
Duo: Am I cute too?  
Sister Helen: Yes, Duo. Come here your braid needs to be fixed!  
Duo: :::Clenches his hair::: No! Not my hair!  
Heero: Does he always do that?  
Sister Helen: Oh, come here. :::Instead of Duo walking over she walks over to him and fixes his hair:::  
Wufei: Duo's baka like a girl!  
Duo: AM NOT WU-MAN!  
Wufei: Onna! My name is not Wu-man!  
Sister Helen: Stop fighting, now!  
Relena: Heero stop them!  
Heero: Relena…shut the heck up!  
Relena: Ok, Heero! Only 'cause you're my friend, I'll shut the heck up!  
Quatre: I'm your friend too. Would you shut the heck up for me?  
Relena: :::Shakes her head:::  
Quatre: :::Pouts::: Why not?  
Relena: :::Shrugs and points to Heero. She smiles with a dreamy look in her eyes:::  
Quatre: Oh. :::Giggles:::  
Wufei: Onna! Braid boy! Ya hear me? :::Pulls Duo's hair hard::: ONNA!   
Duo: LET GO OF MY HAAAAAIIIIRRRR! OWWWWWWWW!!!!! SSIISSTTERR HELEN! HELP! :::Starts to cry:::  
Mr. Maxwell: :::Finally get Wufei off Duo:::  
Wufei: OMMI O KEROSU!  
Heero: :::Smirks:::  
Sister Helen: :::Comforts crying Duo:::  
Relena: !!!  
Trowa: …  
Wufei: OMMI…O…KER…OSU… :::Falls asleep:::  
Quatre: You don't see that everyday.  
Relena: What does "Ommi o kerosu" mean? :::Covers her mouth:::   
Heero: Come here Relena… :::Pulls her aside::: It means…that's what I'm going to do to you if you don't shut the hell up!  
Relena: :::Clamps her mouths shut and looks at the ground and tears stream down her face:::  
Heero: Good! You've got the picture! :::Walks away laughing cruelly:::  
Quatre: What did you tell her?  
Heero: I told her the truth. :::Smirks:::  
Sister Helen: There now stop crying I'll fix your braid.  
Duo: :::Looks up and clenches his hair::: NO!  
Sister Helen: :::Sighs and fixes Duo's hair:::  
  
Later that day at the park…  
Duo: Pass the juice puh-leese   
Quatre: Here you go, Duo. :::Hands Duo a juice box:::  
Duo: Tanks!  
Relena: Anyway…then my daddy buys me a pony! And I rode him for hours and hours and hours! My daddy works a lot but buys me every thing I want…  
Wufei: :::Eats silently::: Can I have another sandwich, please?  
Quatre: Here you go! :::Hands him a sandwich:::  
Wufei: Thanks! :::Eats it:::  
Relena: …so then I took Buttercup and gave him sugar to eat! And you know what he ate it from my hand! That was gross! On my birthday my daddy gave me a kitty and a puppy! My kitty clawed my puppy! And then I yelled at her! And put her in the corner but she wouldn't stay she ran and hurt my puppy again! I was…  
Heero: SHUT UP! :::Takes some egg salad on a spoon and throws it at Relena but misses and hits Quatre in the face but splatters on Wufei:::  
Wufei: :::Get angry…Chucks a whole bowl of Jell-o at Relena and throws a spoonful of egg salad at Heero:::  
Relena: :::Is angry and squirts mustard at Wufei but gets Duo's braid making Duo mad:::  
Trowa: You shouldn't have done that Relena. :::Goes back helping Quatre clean the egg salad off his face:::  
Duo: HOW DARE YOU RELENA!  
Wufei: ONNA!  
Mr. Maxwell: What's going on?  
Duo: :::Points at Relena::: She got mustard in my hair!   
Sister Helen: Why would she do that?  
Duo: I dun know!  
Mr. Maxwell: All of you are a mess!   
Wufei: Relena started it!  
Relena: I did not He…  
Heero: Ommi o kerosu!  
Relena: What does that mean? :::Clamps her mouth shut!:::  
Sister Helen: Let's go home!  
  
At home…  
:::One by one they take a bath:::  
Trowa: :::Fixes his hair with hair gel…and a lot of it!:::  
Quatre: :::Fixes his bangs back in place:::  
Wufei: Where is my hair thing-a-ma-bob? :::Hold his hair in a ponytail and looks for it:::  
Duo: :::Walks out of his room holding his wet hair…which is leaving puddles of water behind:::  
Sister Helen: Duo!  
Duo: :::Looks up innocently::: What is it?  
Sister Helen: Your hair is dripping all over the place!  
Duo: It is not.  
Heero: :::Walks out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist::: Ok…my stuff is…where is it?  
Relena: Mr. Maxwell put it over there. :::Points to a bag next to the wall:::  
Heero: :::Grabs his bag and walks back into the bathroom to change:::  
Sister Helen: :::Walks over to Duo and braids his wet hair:::  
:::There is a knock at the door:::  
Hilde: Duo you forgot to tell me that today was your birthday!  
Duo: I did? I didn't tell anyone except my friends.  
Hilde: I'm not your friend?  
Heero: You work for Door!  
Quatre: She does?  
Hilde: Who's "Door?"  
Heero: Treize Koushrinada.  
Quatre: ::Gasps::: You said his real name!  
Duo: Bitc…Uh, Hildie leave now!  
Hilde: Why?  
Duo: 'Cause I said so! :::Slams the door in her face!:::  
Sister Helen: Who was that?  
Duo: A cheep salesman!  
Mr. Maxwell: Duo, tell the truth.  
Duo: Ok…Door was here.  
Quatre: :::Whispers to Duo::: Why are you lying?   
Duo: :::Whispers to Quatre::: I hate her. She's a real Bitch!  
Relena: What are you boys talking about?  
Duo: Nothing…  
Hilde: :::Bangs on the door::: DUO OPEN THE DOOR!   
Quatre: :::Gasps::: YOU SAID HIS NAME!!!  
Hilde: DUO I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY BIRTHDAY KISS!  
Sister Helen: Duo what's going on?  
Mr. Maxwell: Let's talk about it in your room!  
Duo: B-but… :::walk in his room when Mr. Maxwell gives him an angry look:::  
  
In Duo's room…  
Sister Helen: Now…Duo tell us what happened.  
Duo: That girl, keeps trying to kiss me!  
Mr. Maxwell: Why does she want to do that?  
Duo: Because she's CRAZY! :::Runs over to Sister Helen and starts crying::: She scares me!  
Mr. Maxwell: It's 3:00 now. Why don't we have a talk with her.  
Duo: No…fine…  
  
Back in the main room…  
Hilde: DUO LET ME IN IT'S COLD OUT HERE!  
Quatre: You're lying…we're in Florida! It's not cold!  
Hilde: LET ME IN! :::Pounds on the door wildly:::  
Mr. Maxwell: :::Opens the door:::  
Hilde: DUO!!! :::Runs in and pounces on Duo and kisses him:::  
Duo: GET HER OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HEEEELLLLLLPPPPP ME! SISTER HELEN!!  
Sister Helen: Get away from him right now!  
Mr. Maxwell: Come and we'll talk.  
Hilde: If that's what Duo wants!  
Duo: No! I want you to leave!  
Mr. Maxwell: Duo!  
Duo: Ok…fine…  
:::They walk into a room:::  
  
In the room…  
Mr. Maxwell: Now what seems to be the problem?  
Hilde: No problem!  
Duo: She is trying to kiss me!   
Hilde: I luv you!  
Duo: GET AWAY!  
Mr. Maxwell: What does she do wrong?  
Duo: Lemme see… She tries to kiss me and runs around, chasing me saying, "Fuck me Duo!"  
Hilde: So why don't you ever fuck me?  
Duo: Do you know what that means?  
Hilde: Yes… :::Chases Duo:::  
Duo: SISTER HELEN! :::Runs out of the room to the main room::: SISTER HELEN HILDE SAID, "FUCK ME!!"  
Sister Helen: :::Gasps::: Duo don't repeat what she said!  
Hilde: FUCK ME! DUO!  
:::Everybody laughs and snickers:::  
Trowa: Did she say what I think she said?  
Quatre: D-did…s-she..s-say…wha-what…I…Thi-think…she…s-said?  
Trowa: :::Nods:::   
Relena: She said a bad word!  
Heero: Damn bitch!  
Duo: LEAVE NOW!   
Sister Helen: Please leave!  
Hilde: No!  
Heero: Leave now! :::Pulls out a knife:::  
Wufei: Cool knife. :::Pulls out his sword:::  
Hilde: Huh?  
Sister Helen: Oh my… :::Passes out:::  
:::Wufei and Heero stab Hilde at the same time. Killing her immediately:::  
Quatre: Oh my god…she's bleeding a lot is she dead?  
Heero: She's dead!  
Wufei: What are we going to do with the body?  
Relena: Heero! That's gross!  
Trowa: What do we do now?  
Duo: Stupid Trowa we can't read…maybe except Quatre!  
Mr. Maxwell: :::Walks in::: What happened?  
Duo: Hilde tried to kill us with a knife! So Wufei stabbed her to saved us all!  
Quatre: Oh…my…god…  
Duo: What are we going to do?  
Quatre: Is she dead?  
Heero: I told you she was.  
Quatre: Oh my god! What are we going to do?  
Wufei: Nothing.  
Quatre: Nothing?! There is a dead person on Duo's floor!  
Trowa: Call the police.  
Quatre: C-call the…I can't read the next word. How do you call 9-1-1?  
Duo: Don't ask me!  
Quatre: :::Pulls out his cell phone::: Trowa push the numbers!  
:::Trowa calls the police and hands the phone to Quatre:::  
Quatre: Hello? There's a dead person at Duo's church! Uhh…Maxwell? OK! Bye! :::Hangs up:::  
Duo: She's dead!  
Relena: The police are coming? I want to go home! :::Hits speed dial on her cell phone::: Hello daddy? Pick me up! I'm scared! :::Starts to cry::: Ok **sniff** uh-huh **sniff** Ok **sniff** Bye. :::Hangs up:::  
Heero: You're going home? :::Relena nods::: Great!  
:::Five minutes later a car pulls up and takes Relena home:::  
Heero: She's gone!  
:::The police pull up:::  
Police 1: What happened?  
Duo: This…this girl comes up to us and she chases me around and around. Then she pulls a knife on us and then…and then somebody stabbed her.  
Police 2: Why did she that?  
Duo: I dun know…  
Police 1: Do you know who stabbed her?  
Duo: No…  
Police 1: Do you know why she was here to begin with?  
Duo: No…I met her once before and she was annoying.  
Police 2: Are you the one who called?  
Duo: No…Quatre did.  
Police 2: Where is Quatre?  
Duo: Over there. :::Points to Quatre::: They didn't see what happened they came out when I yelled after she got stabbed.  
Police 1: We see…  
:::They call an ambulance to take dead Hilde away:::  
Mr. Maxwell: I think you boys had enough excitement for the day…come and we'll have dinner.  
((By now Sister Helen has woken up))  
  



End file.
